Connor Murphy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
yourattention) wrote2021-06-17 04:19 am
yourattention) wrote2021-06-17 04:19 am
Entry tags:
[curtains] email masterpost
| DRAFT - Re: Try being nice? | ▼ X |
| last edited 8:28 PM (two minutes ago) | ||
| TO | Evan Hansen <treehugger@gmail.com>; | CC BCC |
| FROM | Connor Murphy <c.murphy@gmail.com>; | |
| SUBJECT | RE: Try being nice? | |
     Dear Evan Hansen, We've been way too out of touch. Things have been crazy, and it sucks that we don't talk that much! I gotta tell ya life without ya has been rough and I miss talking about life and other stuff. I love my parents but each day's another fight. If I stop smoking pot then everything might be alright. I'll take your advice, I'll try to be more "nice." I'll turn it around, wait and see! 'cause all that it takes is a little reinvention and it's easy to change if you give it your attention. All you gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be. Sincerely, Me | ||
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[connor] email #1
Yes, I also miss our talks. Stop doing drugs, just try to take deep breaths and go on walks. I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees—you'll be obsessed with all my forest expertise!
Dude, I'm proud of you. Just keep pushing through—you're turning around, I can see.
Sincerely,
Me
[orpheus] email #72
I'm glad to hear rehab's going alright. You should talk more in the sharing circles - opening up is good for you. I know you've told me that you don't have any other friends, but everyone in rehab can't be that bad! Everyone's there for the same sort of stuff, right? So you already have that in common with them.
You said you're worried that they'll laugh about your stories, but I don't think that's true. Everyone's there because they're a little bit broken, a little bit messed up. Rehab's supposed to help fix you.
It's easy to change if you give it your attention, remember?
Sincerely,
Me
[connor] email #103
It's great to hear that you've picked up swimming again. Do you think you'll try out for the swim team this year? My therapist says that physical exercise is good for you and you're pretty good at it right?
I know this is probably hypocritical coming from me, since I can't even really get through a school presentation without having a panic attack, but sometimes you have to do stuff that's out of your comfort zone. Think about it, okay?
Did the breathing exercises help? I know you were hesitant to try them, but they've helped me a ton and honestly, I think they could help you too. I know you've been getting better recently and I don't want to see you backslide! You're turning around and it only gets better from here.
Sincerely,
Me
DEAD LETTERS
PEREGRINE
hey per,
if you're reading this i fucked up. or maybe it was someone else's fuck-up? either way i'm dead and i'm sorry about it.
i feel like there's a lot i should tell you, shit i didn't say and i should've and things we probably needed to talk about. i dunno, and i've never really been... this is super morbid, huh? writing letters that are only supposed to be opened after i'm dead? sorry, but uh. i'm feeling my own mortality i think and i really hope you never need to see this.
maybe in five years we'll laugh about this, huh? i hope so. i'm writing a new ending to my story and i want it to be less depressing than the first time around. if you are reading this and i'm dead, though, i have to ask you a huge favor. i know, i'm a fucking dick. i died and now i'm trying to get you to run errands for me.
- give all of my remaining coins to orpheus for, you know.
- i made a bracelet like yours for farrah. it's the white and orange one.
- the sketchpad goes to janis, along with the letter for her. you should also give her the two matching lesbian flag bracelets.
- everyone can have whatever out of the rest of my shit, i'm not using it.
if i come back as a ghost, just know that i'm watching over you and shit. not in an ominous way, just like... i'm not gonna pretend like i think you're super fucked up about me dying because i'm me, because that would be egotistical but um. i know it's gonna hit you hard and i just want you to know i love you shit's not as bleak as it seems.
you know i don't mean that in a "cheer up, buttercup" way but just a pragmatic way. life goes on, huh? i'd like if life went on for you. i don't want to see you any time soon, okay?
connor
[Amongst the contents of his trunk, by the way, is a second red cape. He's clearly started to modify this one too, but didn't get very far. Mostly what he's managed is a single deer applique right about where someone's heart would be.]
JANIS
janis:
hey bitch guard this with your fuckin life. do NOT let anyone but especially spongebob see it or i WILL come haunt your ass. also i made some "friendship" bracelets for you and maya. you know. just some friendly bracelets for gals who are pals in the color of the lesbian pride flag.
i know, i'm absolutely fucking hilarious. you're fucking welcome, actually.
connor
[peregrine] email #25
You've never told me about the apple orchard before. Do you think it's still there? It might be fun to go sometime. We could probably climb some trees or something. Talk about our plans for the future? You mentioned something about biking the Appalachian trail a while back.
This summer, I'm working as a park ranger in Ellison. You should come hang out sometime. I'll show you all the coolest trees in the park! Or just give you a tour, I don't know. I hope I'll learn a lot while I'm there.
Don't worry about what other people think. What you and I have doesn't have anything to do with them. Nothing could make me stop being your friend. We're both losers, aren't we?
Sincerely,
Me