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[Dave breathes out an irritated noise that lets both of them know he's not overly fond of being fussed over to this extent. The fact that he doesn't follow it up with any arguments suggests that he might know he's not going to get anywhere.

He drinks slowly, feeling deeply uncomfortable with the idea of staying here and sleeping in Bro's bed. There's no heterosexual, platonic way to ask Connor if he'd stay and sleep there too. There's also a lingering concern that while Connor is capable, he'd probably be way more susceptible to an attack and he doesn't want to live with that. Bro is another kettle of fish.

So, he just steels himself to the fact that it's happening whether he likes it or not.

He hasn't noticed that he's uncommonly quiet about it all. Even if he is recovering from near-death it isn't like him to just tiredly accept things without making a remark. By the time it's all arranged, the glass is empty.]

Okay, I'm done.

[He was going to, like. Go. Ghost. Pretend all of this never happened. Except Dirk's not so subtly asking him to stick around, or at least come back, and he doesn't... He doesn't want to go? It feels wrong to leave, somehow. This isn't his responsibility, but it feels like his responsibility. A little bit, anyway.]

I can stay while you run some errands. [He's pretty sure the errand is murder, but.] I don't work today.

[Sometimes, his boss just tells him to go home and stay home. Apparently "yes, I will work an unhealthy amount" is... frowned upon when you're a Gembonded. The job is how he pays the rent, frequently ignoring the government text messages about "you should probably go hook up with someone so we can pay you."

Connor shifts on the couch, bringing his leg in contact with Dave's.]

[ dirk takes the glass from dave when he's finished and just sets it down, then hesitates and runs a hand over his hair lightly before standing. he retrieves his hat and puts it back on, then disappears into another room to do... something.

that something is in fact to equip a sword (he stuffs it in his sylladex, he doesn't want to get stopped by the cops for carrying around a goddamn katana) and grab... a gas mask? why does he HAVE a gas mask? you know what, sure, dirk strider owns a gas mask. why not. he's holding onto the strapping with two fingers and letting it dangle behind his shoulder as he moves, and he pauses when he comes back into the living room. ]

Lock the door after me. Can you get him into the bed or should I carry him? No arguing, Dave.

[The combination of leg to leg contact with Connor and the hand over his hair is extremely, albeit briefly placating for Dave. Probably because it's not just any hand but Bro's hand and he probably would have done any number of things for a pat on the head when he was a kid.

Now it's annoying because it makes him feel like a kid but he still doesn't hate the reassurance he gets from it.

When he leaves, Dave just shrugs at Connor like it's normal for Bro to just dip before they've finished a conversation. He lets himself lean lightly into Connor. Not quite deadweight on him but not fully supporting himself. It's totally not an excuse for closeness which doesn't last when Bro comes back in the room.]

Woah, woah-- [Dave pushes himself up off the couch, he teeters a little but he finds his footing. His voice is still raspy like he's been fighting off a persistent chest infection.]

I think the fuck not. Where are you going? You don't both get to act like I'm an idiot for getting clowned on by a crazy guy and then go after him like it's nothing. [He clears his throat.] That's stupid.

We'll be fine. Have fun on your errands.

[Connor catches Dave's wrist and very gently but firmly tugs on it to try and get Dave to sit the fuck back down. He doesn't mention the gas mask or Dave's muttering about retribution because it's whatever. At worst, the guy actually dies. At best, he dies but comes back as is usual in these situations. Most likely there's just gonna be a fight and someone will get stabbed but then somebody calls the cops and the message has been sent so whatever. In which case, hopefully he'll learn the lesson and not randomly gas people in the future, even if they did troll him.

Dirk can have little a retribution, as a treat, as far as Connor's concerned. If a guy's running around gassing people over every little thing he had to have done something to actually deserve getting a tiny bit murdered. You can just run around committing crimes like it's GTA and you're Tommy Vercetti or whatever.]

Never claimed to be smart. I ain't gonna let him get away with it, that's just rollin' over.

[ it's something strange, to hear the twang coming out of him. it's rough and a little low, and odd for a man who consciously evens his voice to be as un-accented as possible. he says this to dave. then he turns to connor and nods, going to the door and pausing in the threshold. ]

Remember what I said, and don't answer the fuckin' door for anyone. I don't care if it's a goddamn gem scout or whatever passes for girl scouts out here.

[ and then, he goes. the door clicks shut quietly behind him. ]

Oh hell no.

[Don't you fucking twang at him you Southern Asshole. It just makes him more nostalgic and more scared of losing Bro again.]

That's bullshit. [Dave says to both Connor and Bro but it doesn't take much more than a wrist tug to get him to thud back down on the couch. He watches Bro leave, bitterly. Frowning as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees to make it less apparent that his legs are jostling nervously under him.

He's very clearly sulking but damn if he's ever going to address ANY of this.]

I have a natural aversion to girl scouts and also girls.

[That's not true. His sexuality is a little bit like his personal conception of gender: decline to answer, but fluid. Part of him just likes reminding people he's into men constantly and loudly. It's cathartic or whatever. Connor trails after Dirk, when he goes, locking the door as requested before turning back to Dave. He watches for a moment before walking back over.]

Hey. Come take a nap with me?

[That's probably weird, given that this is Dave's brother's apartment, but also Dave needs to take a nap and Connor needs to, uh. Sleep? So he can have his spell slots back. He has a feeling he might need them whenever Dirk comes back.]

[Briefly, Dave feels like he might be irritated enough to get snappy in response. He pulls a face like he's got something to say but the expression falls back to the same, tired look.]

Sounds good.

[If he pretends they're not here, anyway. He pushes himself up from the couch and although he finds he needs to brace on the arm of it for a second he feels largely capable of walking if not a bit disoriented.

He looks around before starting to shuffle toward the bedroom, arms folded loosely over his chest.]

[Connor trails behind Dave, ready to catch him if he falls but mostly letting him have his independence otherwise. He gets the sense that even if Dave needs someone to take care of him, which apparently 2/2 older brothers agree on, he doesn't want to need it. It reminds him of being quietly asked if he had any friends. The hesitant and uncertain way he said Tim is my friend, because he didn't want to lie but he also didn't want to say that he's never really had friends. He thought he didn't need them, until...

he was he was
everything i'm not, my whole universe
when i was a footnote, a slim second verse—

Don't think about that, actually.]

On account of you're the idiot who trolls under his own name, you get to be little spoon.

Edited 2021-05-30 10:59 (UTC)

[Dave is absolutely the strangest combination of fiercely independent and so incredibly hopeless that you can't help intervening. He is blithely unaware of how he's perceived although he does assume it's very apparent he wasn't raised right.

He drags his fingertips over the wall as he walks, it's not surprising that he should be a little tense in this moment but as they circle into Bro's room he seems so distracted by it that he barely hears Connor. In fact, he doesn't respond for a noticeable amount of time as hesitates in the doorway and then steps into the room to perch very, very awkwardly on the foot of the bed.

Oh right, Connor said something. What did he say? Too late. Just laugh.

He feigns a laugh, way after Connor initially spoke and just marinates himself in how he feels right now. Kind of nauseous, a little bit anxious, overwhelmingly stupid and still tired. He peels his shirt up over his head which musses his hair up and reveals some patchy, red marks that are already much better than they were when he was found. He might owe some of that to the gem but most of it to Connor, so he should probably stop being in his feelings and acknowledge him.]

He died when I was thirteen, just in case the tension wasn't palpable enough for you. [The words and he was kind of a huge asshole are in the back of his throat, but he can't make himself say it so he just flops back onto the bed and haphazardly kicks the covers down to settle under them before he rolls on his side.]

Edited 2021-05-30 12:41 (UTC)

[The question who died is almost out of his mouth before he puts it all together. Oh. It's a little reminiscent of the way he felt when he saw Evan Hansen again, maybe. The way they both thought they were seeing a ghost. The way that they didn't know what the fuck to do with each other. He could say any of that, but words aren't really... Sometimes words fail, and that's okay.

Instead, Connor shrugs off the denim jacket he's taken to wearing here, even though it's maybe unseasonably warm for it, and drops it on the floor before settling on the bed behind Dave, above the covers. He touches his forehead to the back of Dave's neck and breathes out.]

Larry told me I was attention seeking when I slit my wrists in the bathtub. [It's easy to change if you give it your attention—] Family's what you make it.

[Dave feels that he can parse from context that Larry might be Connor's dad. That he calls him by his name says a lot about how he acknowledges him but it seems reasonable given that very brief glimpse into who he is as a person.]

Man, your life is like a clown car full of irredeemable douchebags, huh? [He doesn't say it to make light of it, he means it. It bothers him to hear it but it's vulnerable and it makes him feel safer in sharing more of himself.]

Yeah. Kind of had to move on but we never really talked about the fact that he categorically failed at almost every aspect of caretaking except for being over-protective. [There's some bitterness to his tone but it softens as he relaxes into Connor behind him. He's just radiating warmth as a result of the ruby in him trying to help along the regenerating process.]

But he's different now. I think.

No. [The word is soft, but full of emotion.] I just like to lead with the worst of me.

[Gently, Connor wraps an arm around Dave's midsection. He still keeps the barest sliver of space physically between them, like that makes any of this less intimate. Deep down, part of him recognizes this is weird but he's just shoving it in a box to think about later. That's a problem for later.

He doesn't want to talk about their respective, fucked up families really. Like, he could say something about how people change and circumstances sometimes suck and this or that but Connor doesn't know how to make himself say platitudes. If they end up actually having that conversation, it'll be very real and very raw. That's... not right now.]

Do you want me to tell you a story? An actual one, not one of my fucked up life stories.

If this is the worst you've got then we're gonna be fine.

[Tiredly, but he still sounds very sure of himself because he's very sure he has a good read on Connor by now.

He appreciates the opt out for this conversation because the more he says, the less he feels like he really understands his own thoughts. He's liable to confuse Connor and confuse himself even more.

Dave scoots back gently to close the gap between them, evidently less scared of the intimacy. He's a cuddler by nature and doesn't think there's anything inherently weird about two guys spooning platonically. Maybe only because it's in his brother's bed, but he's trying not to think about it.

He pauses to consider the question.]

Sure. [Seems like a good way to settle his mind and stop thinking about what Bro is doing right now.]

You can tell me an actual one or a fucked up one, dealer's choice.

[It isn't the worst of him, but Connor doesn't say that. Let Dave think that the worst he has is a shitty family.]

Once, the moon had two princes. "Ah," said each prince when they woke in the morning, "I wish I had someone to be with." Each prince thought he was absolutely alone in the whole universe, in the vast and incomprehensible loneliness of space.

[This is one of the times that Connor is choosing to put emotion in his voice. Dave's probably heard him take this tone before when he reads, soft and lilting like a lullaby. This story might also sound vaguely familiar to Dave: it loosely correlates to a picture book Connor made Ricky only there weren't any words in the book. Just illustrations.]

Each day the princes would wish on a star for someone to be with. They wished and wished and wished until one day, their wishes came true. For one brief moment, it seemed like everything they ever wanted but they encountered a problem.

The prince of the dark side of the moon was blinded by the prince of the bright side of the moon's mere presence. "Oh," the dark prince said, "I cannot be with you. You're too flashy for me." The bright prince was saddened by this but let the dark prince go.

One day, something miraculous happened: an eclipse. "Do you still," the bright prince said, "find me too flashy?" "No," the dark prince said. The two talked until the eclipse was over and even afterward found that they could ease the loneliness of thinking that you're alone in the world. Sometimes, even though it may not seem it at first, people can be be brought together.

[Is. Is this an allegory? Is this an actual-ass fucking thing that happened to Connor, wrapped up in fairytale language? That's a good question, but the answer is extremely unclear.]

[Dave doubts its all Connor has going on but in his vague, bullshit way he wants Connor to know that he's probably willing to accept whatever parts of him he wants to offer. Whether that's because he's awkwardly compassionate by nature or just a lonely person remains to be seen. It's probably both.

It should probably feel weirder being held while being told a bedtime story, but it's not a memory he can attach any sentiment to so it is what it is. Connor's voice engages him in the story, even if his eyelids are getting frustratingly heavy and hard to hold open.

Dave listens and, with god-like discipline, doesn't interrupt. Probably because he's tired, but also because he's interested. There are some aspects of the story that remind him of the moons back home and the people assigned to each one. Maybe he shouldn't read that deep into it, although he wonders what it means to Connor since he certainly isn't talking about Derse and Prospit.

When Connor finishes, he's silent for a little as if he's asleep. He's not. Eventually:]

Woah. That's so sad. [Hot takes by big brains.]

Is that it? What happens when there isn't an eclipse?

[I know talking is hard, but please...
I wanted to go to Paris and see the Louvre. I wanted to be Amélie. I wanted to leave and be happy.

Connor exhales, and it's clearly amused. Yeah, no. That's enough being weirdly vulnerable for one day.]

I'll tell you another time. [He doesn't drop the soft, lilting tone of the story.] Go to sleep, Dave.

[Then, quietly, he starts to sing. He doesn't put the thread of suggestion behind it that he did for Ricky when they first met, though. It's just a regular lullaby, intended to lure Dave into sleep.]

[Dave asks questions and never fully expects answers, so even the vague promise of a follow up is enough to satisfy him for now.

He grumbles in protest at the order, gentle as it may be. He doesn't know how he's supposed to sleep with about ten thousand things running through his mind.

Luckily (?) his body is so physically tired that the soothing feeling he gets from being sung to is enough to make him shut his eyes and at least try to enjoy it. Only now he doesn't want to sleep because he doesn't want a moment where he feels like this to end.

It's not up to him, though. It's not long before he's actually asleep, his chest rising and falling in a slow, relaxed rhythm. His face is mostly peaceful but occasionally he'll frown in his sleep. It's fine. He almost immediately curls himself into a Dave-sized ball and he tucks his head under his own arm. That's when you know he's really out of here.]

[ it's a couple hours later that dirk gets back. he's a little worse for wear, frankly: he's taken off the gas mask and replaced it with his shades, but they're all cracked on one side. he's quiet when he enters, practiced in staying silent, and he heads right to the kitchen to start up. there's a first aid kit in one of the drawers and sewing supplies in a bag on the counter so he pulls out both, starting up the water in the sink.

he has to work on his side first: there's a knife still sticking out of him and he's too stoic about it to be a real person. he gets everything ready before he removes the knife, but his hand is wet from the blood dripping from the slash on his arm so when he tries to set it down, it slips out of his hand and falls into the sink with a clatter. ]

Shit.

[ he yanks a chair up to the counter and takes the jacket off first and then his shirt, wincing when the fabric pulls away from the skin. it starts the blood up again too, and he sighs and grabs a dishtowel to put pressure on the wound with one hand.

the other starts grabbing for thread and needles and the alcohol wipes from the first aid kit.

he'll just finish this up and get to sleep. ]

[Connor slept approximately an hour and then didn't move because sometimes you're a person who only likes being touched on your own terms and you wake up curled around another person. If Dave's not awake he can't ruin it by trying to touch Connor, who still sometimes flinches when people touch him unexpectedly, so he breathes out and stays until he hears the clatter of something. He slips out of the room, forgetting he took off his jacket. It's not exactly that he cares about people seeing his arms anymore, more that sometimes it feels nice to feel like there's a barrier between him and the world. That the layers between him and other people are physical too.

He doesn't enter the kitchen, exactly, standing exactly on the threshold like he's a vampire who needs to be invited in. His hair is also loose, much longer than it looks when he has it up, and falling around his shoulders.]

I can help you with that. It's a bitch to hold the needle when you're bleeding on it.

[It's quiet, matter-of-fact like that's something he's done. Like he didn't learn how to do field surgery as a terrified teenager in the woods. That was basically a lifetime ago, as far as he's concerned, and he's stitched himself up a few times since then.]

[ dirk hears connor coming before he sees him, and he can tell from the cadence of the step it isn't dave, so he's glad for that much. he doesn't want dave to see him like this, only in part because he seemed so upset earlier when dirk said he was going.

he thinks he got off easy in the fight: caustic fights with the skill of someone very used to fighting, and that sticks with him. not just an evil scientist after all.

he'll have to keep that in mind next time.

when connor speaks he doesn't answer for a moment, cleaning the needle with one of the swabs and not looking up. ]

Didn't need the gas mask, at least. Ruined a perfectly good jacket, though.

[ a beat. ]

I got this.

[ but his dominant arm is the one that's wounded and it started bleeding again as soon as he started using both hands: the blood from that makes the needle slip from his fingers and onto the counter.

he stares at it a long moment before amending: ]

Alright. You got me.

[Connor stays on the threshold, waiting, until Dirk relents. Then he crosses the space between them and kneels to get a better look at what he's dealing with. His hand hovers over the knife wound, not quite touching.]

Let's make the most of the night, like we're gonna die young. [The quiet song stops the flow of the blood, but doesn't do much else. He pulls his hand away.] I can fix the jacket later, if you want.

[Standing, Connor locates the discarded needle and another alcohol wipe. Normally he'd run the needle through fire, but he doubts Dirk has the patience to do this right. Instead he kneels back down and looks up at Dirk.]

Can I touch you, or would you prefer I try not to?

[Like, touching Dirk at least some is unavoidable but he can absolutely try and avoid it as much as possible.]

[ he relaxes when the bleeding stops, but only a little. he's still wound tight like a spring that's about to snap, but his shoulders return to a neutral position. he shrugs with his good arm just after though, a small movement like always. ]

I'm pretty good at sewing, but I've never been able to make leather repair sit properly. I wouldn't mind the help, thanks.

[ he watches connor, but it's dark enough in here that he takes off his broken shades and sets them on the counter. his eyes are bright orange to contrast dave's red, and the light color at least partially explains the shades inside the house deal he has going on.

the question surprises him, but he appreciates it. normally he'd tell connor to try not to touch him, but he's tired enough that he just wants this over with as soon as possible. ]

No, go ahead.

[ he shifts, silent a moment, before continuing. ]

I didn't get a chance to kill him, we got interrupted. [ he runs his tongue over his teeth. ]

But I managed to do enough damage he might reconsider trying again. He's a real piece of fuckin' work.

I used to make leather. Had an awful teal leather jacket I loved until my dragon set it on fire.

[He says it while he's working, one hand holding the wound together while he slowly stitches it back together. He doesn't seem to see anything weird or off with what he said, despite looking and sounding like a relatively normal person.

His hands are steady, but it's clear he's not... entirely comfortable with what he's doing. It's in the tightness of his shoulders, the way careful way he's breathing. The last time he did this for someone else was... worse, Shion trying to talk him through a panic while he tried not to notice the blood getting everywhere, over everything. He didn't realize until he settled into the motion that it would trigger him.]

Don't have the equipment for that here, but I can probably patch the jacket.

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cw; child neglect/abuse!!

cw: previous suicide attempts

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