Base Song: Disappear, Dear Evan Hansen

Summary: When his other storytelling goes awry, Connor is forced to relive two related but equally unpleasant memories. The first is trying to apologize to Evan Hansen for pushing him (and failing). The second is, err. His own suicide.

Guys like him and me We're just the losers Who keep waiting to be seen, right? I mean, no one seems to care or stops to notice that we're there so we get lost in the in-between But If I could somehow keep him thinking of me And make me more than an abandoned memory Well, that means I matter too. It means someone would see that I was there I don't deserve to be remembered but I don't want to fade away. If I just come and go and have no one know I was ever even here I just don't want to disappear To disappear Disappear [the entire scene with Evan actually happens here and the rest is like a voiceover to the third memory] Even though I've always been that Barely-in-the-background kind of guy, don't I matter? And even though I'm somebody who can't escape the feeling That the world's passed me by can't I matter? Though I'll never get around to doing some remarkable thing That shouldn't mean that I'm not worth remembering Think of the people who need to know - they need to know, so I need to show them That no one deserves to be forgotten and I refuse to fade away. My family can't chicken out or have any doubt that it's their fault I'm not here I don't deserve To disappear To disappear Disappear When you're drowning in the ocean and there's nobody around, all you want is for somebody to find you When you're drowning in the ocean and you can't hear a sound, all you need is for somebody to find you!