Base Song: Waving Through A Window, Dear Evan Hansen

Summary: A vague recounting of LifeAftr death and how Connor would really rather not, is honestly and genuinely waiting to be let down by everyone like usual, and is still kind of struggling to find a reason to live. It's fine. He's getting there.

I've learned to keep to myself Before they even know of me Before they learn my mistakes Before I lead with the worst of me Give them no reason to care No messing up if you walk away So I got nothing to share No, I got nothing to say Get up, get out of the tide If you wanna live. Stay out, stay out of the tide Because you've learned, because you've learned On the outside, always looking in Will I ever be more than I've always been? 'Cause I'm dead, dead, deadening my soul I'm waiting for a miracle I try to live, but there's no reason why So I wait around for it all to go awry While I'm watch, watch, watching people live I'm waiting for a miracle, oh Does anybody care, is anybody even living here? I start with stars in my eyes I start believing that I belong But daily tides always rise And no one tells me where I went wrong Get up, get out of the tide If you wanna live. Stay out, stay out of the tide Because you've learned, because you've learned On the outside, always looking in Will I ever be more than I've always been? 'Cause I'm shout, shout, shouting out my name Waiting for a miracle I try to live, but there's no reason why So I wait around for it all to go awry While I'm lash, lash, lashing out in fear Waiting for a miracle, oh Can anybody see, is anybody watching? When you're drowning in the ocean and there's nobody around do you even really sink, or even make a sound? (x4) Did I even really drown? Did I even really drown? It's like I never made a sound, can I even really drown? On the outside, always looking in Will I ever be more than I've always been? 'Cause I'm scream, scream, screaming out for help Waiting for a miracle I try to live, but there's no reason why So I wait around for it all to go awry While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass Waiting for a miracle, oh Can anybody see, is anybody looking back at me? (oh) Is anybody watching? Watching, watching, whoa-oh, whoa-oh